The divorce process can seem like it will never end and there are some divorces that can even stretch out for several years. Why does this happen? The answer lies in a mix of human factors, legal system dynamics, and the approach chosen to resolve disputes.
The Human Factor: Divorce Moves at the Pace of the Slowest Person
One significant reason some divorces drag on is the people that are involved. Divorce professionals often say, “Divorce moves as fast as the slowest person.” If one party delays proceedings—whether due to indecision, lack of cooperation, or unresolved emotional conflict—it will slow the entire process. Even if one spouse is eager to finalize the divorce, the timeline is ultimately dictated by the least motivated or most resistant party. When multiple participants—lawyers, parties, or even external influences—contribute to the delays, the process can grind to a halt.
The Role of the Court System
Another common source of delay is the court system itself. While courts are designed to handle disputes fairly, they are not always efficient. Backlogged dockets and procedural requirements can lead to significant waiting periods. For example, securing a settlement conference or a hearing date can take months, especially if the assigned judge has a crowded schedule.
Moreover, the court doesn’t typically push cases along proactively. While some judges may actively manage their dockets, many judges simply rely on the parties and their attorneys to take the initiative. This means that without active effort from the involved parties, the case can linger indefinitely. Expecting the court to move things along on its own is often a recipe for frustration.
Choosing the Right Path: Mediation and Collaborative Divorce
One way to potentially shorten the divorce process is by opting for a divorce process that is out of court such as Mediation or Collaborative Divorce. These approaches offer greater flexibility and control compared to traditional litigation.
In Mediation, for example, you and your spouse can select a mediator with availability that fits your, allowing you to address issues quickly. Similarly, in a Collaborative Divorce, you, your spouse and your chosen professionals set your own timelines. This means that progress can happen as quickly—or slowly—as is necessary. Unlike the court system, which often imposes rigid procedures and long waits, these methods empower you to focus on resolution rather than procedural hurdles.
Flexibility and Cooperation Are Key
Ultimately, the speed of a divorce depends on the willingness of both you and your spouse to cooperate and remain focused on reaching an agreement. Choosing a non-adversarial process like mediation or collaboration will streamline the process, but it still requires both of you to actively engage and commit to moving forward.
In contrast, when you or your spouse are entrenched in conflict or rely solely on the court system, delays are inevitable. Whether due to emotional resistance, legal complexities, or external pressures, these roadblocks can transform an already difficult process into a prolonged ordeal.
Managing Emotions and the Right Legal Process Can Lead to Success
Divorce is as much about managing emotions and relationships as it is about legal procedures. The length of the process depends on how you choose to navigate these challenges. While external factors like the court system can play a role, the real drivers of progress—or delay—are the individuals involved. Choosing a flexible and cooperative approach can make all the difference, turning a potentially drawn-out process into a more manageable transition toward a new chapter of life.
The Law Offices of Patrick Markey, P.C., are dedicated to the Collaborative Divorce Process and can help you address and resolve issues in your divorce.
Our offices are located at 108 Stetson Avenue, Suite 3500 in Chicago, Illinois. You may call us at 312-223-1764.